Saturday, January 21, 2012

Homogenic Warrior, or Happy Anniversary to Me

Lima Center (Jan. 2011)
Earlier this week Björk posted her Homegenic (1997) album cover on Facebook, explaining that "Homogenic is a woman who was put in an impossible situation with a lot and lot of restrictions, so she had to become a warrior, but she fought back not with weapons but with love."

Björk is one of those artists, for me, who manages to capture every emotion I've ever experienced and turn it into this powerful journey of human existence. I've found sweetness and innocence in her first album Debut while I was 17, trying to figure out my place in this world, feeling so happy and full of hope for my future.  

Vespertine was intense for its expression of love for her mate and her son and her mother and for herself. I was only able to fully understand and accept Vespertine's power in the years I was with my husband.
Costa Verde, Larcomar (Jan. 2011)

In the middle of these two albums comes Homogenic, which has served as my flag of independence, of that time between my long-term relationships that I had to face being okay with being single, with finding myself again, with changing into stronger version of me who has love inside myself.

A friend of mine asked me to explain Björk's take on Homogenic. And here's what I wrote:
First she starts with Hunter, where she tells us she's on a mission to search by traveling and find her home. Next with Jóga, she describes in a state of emergency, she needs to heal, she's confused by emotions.  
In Unravel, her love has left her and she feels undone until he returns. With Bachelorette, she calls to her love who only grows distant when she beckons him near.  
In 5 Years, which in my humble opinion is the best track on this album for its intensity, she angrily taunts her love to show his true self to her, to open himself up, though she knows he's ultimately a coward.  
Barranco (Apr. 2011)
Then she considers in Immature that perhaps she's put too much of herself into love, that really she can complete herself on her own.  
In Alarm Call, she's waking up, she's okay on her own, she's experienced life and she finds joy in being and she's not scared to take life on. With Pluto, she's going through a metamorphosis, she's finding herself changed into a new person, stronger, bolder, confident.  
And then she ends with All is Full of Love, so gentle, so sweet, yet strong and sure that she is love, she will receive love, she must open herself to trust it, but right now, she's content with the love inside herself.  
For she is the Warrior who loved, who fell apart and felt unsure for a bit, but then healed herself, metamorphosing into a stronger version of herself, to find herself full of love for herself.

San Isidro (July 2011)
And here I am again, reliving Homogenic, track by track, using Björk's experiences and wisdom and faith in love and in herself to guide me. 

It's my one-year anniversary today, the day I decided to come back and live in Lima.

It was so much more than meeting someone this day a year ago for only a few hours. I look back at that time, and I have to smile. It came on the tail of an amazing two-week adventure across Peru and Bolivia, and I didn't want the adventure to end. So it didn't. 

I understand now, with the wisdom and maturity gained from one more year of living, that it was all just based on a dream, of lovely words expressed between two strangers from two different countries under the magically romantic spell of having only one evening to spend together. Yet it all seemed real enough at the time for me to follow my dream.

I'm so glad I did follow my dream. Though I may have memories that make me cringe, I have memories that make my heart sing.
Ultimately, I know looking back in 5 or 10 or 20 or 50 years that I will have no regrets. I've learned so much about myself, about how strong I am, how courageous I am. How I was on a mission to find my home. How I thought I would unravel when what I thought at the time was love left me. How immature it was to think another person can complete me. How I experienced an alarm call that my life needed to change. How I metamorphosed into another stronger version of myself. How I am so full of love.

Av. Salaverry, Jesús María (Jan. 2012)
Like Homogenic, I am a Warrior. I was in an impossible position that I couldn't see the light at times, but I fought back and found my courage and my strength, all with love for myself.

I love Lima. It's my city now. I know parts of it so well. I feel joy when I walk down certain streets. I feel joy when I stand in front of some buildings. I feel my breath get taken away when I see my city from atop a mountain, the fog rolling in from San Lorenzo island over the Costa Verde of Magdalena. It's my city that I've grown to know so well and eventually came to love over the past year.
 

For I understand now that it wasn't a person that I came for. No, it never was for someone else. It was always, deep down, for the experience. It was for the adventure. It was all for the journey I needed to take to become more me.

I have a set amount of time left in Lima, and I have decided to make the most of living here. I'm going to spend a lot of my free time exploring the city more, finding a new home along my favorite street, trying all the wonderful food, walking in lovely green parks, taking many photos of all my explorations. I'm going to travel to other cities. I'm going to make new friends. I'm going to give of myself more.

I'm going to make the most of my life here. 

I'm going to live.


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Some more of my favorite photos of Lima:

Parque Kennedy, Miraflores (Jan. 2012)
San Bartolo playa sur (Jan. 2012)
Salamanca (Nov. 2011)

Parque Kennedy, Miraflores (Jan. 2012)

Av. Arequipa, San Isidro (Oct. 2011)

Parque Kennedy, Miraflores (Nov. 2011)
Parque Kennedy, Miraflores (Jan. 2012)
Costa Verde, Barranco (Apr. 2011)
Costa Verde, Larcomar (Sept. 2011)

Chosica (July 2011)
Costa Verde, Miraflores (June 2011)
Miraflores (Sept. 2011)
Parque Kennedy, Miraflores (Jan. 2012)
Chaclacayo (Apr. 2011)

San Isidro (Dec. 2011)
Av. Salaverry, Jesús María (Jan. 2012)

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